As we came to the six-week mark of James’ passing, it seemed that life is returning to normal. I am grateful that people still ask how are you doing? While I recognise that sometimes I am not doing well, I’m grateful to be able to say, that most of the time I am doing ok. I often answer, “The time

How do you find comfort? Firstly, be with those closest to you. When we received news that we had lost our grandson, we knew we had to be with his parents, our son and his wife. I called our daughter’s husband and asked them to come and look after the grandchildren we had staying. Let some people know who can

Do you let others see when it’s tough? In May of 2019, we had a family tragedy. Our grandson James was stillborn. No cause is known, his heart just stopped beating. It was such a shock. No words. Very early on, as we started to contact people and let them know, I was faced with a choice. What would be

Do you let others see the real you? Do they know how you are really doing? One of the constant comments I get after I talk about my journey of burnout is “thank you for your transparency.” Transparency is helpful because others can get help from what you have been through. Being real and authentic is powerful. Was I always

During the process of recovery, I came to the realisation that burnout didn’t just affect me but that others connected to me were also impacted. This realisation was quite confronting. When pain is intense we lose sight of what is happening in other people because typically we are focused on ourselves. Burnout by nature has three components or indicators—high depletion

Lost Sight of Self and Others When we are physically sick, it is hard to pay attention to the needs of others. Depending on the severity, we focus on getting ourselves well. Similarly, when we are not well emotionally, we lose awareness of what is happening in us and around us. At these times our emotional sight is impaired. I

What damages self-integrity? Burnout damaged my self-integrity. A fault line appeared in my foundations. A divide came into view between my actions and values. Like Paul in Romans 7:18 the longings to do what is right are within me, but will-power is not enough to accomplish it. My love for people and desire to engage with them was overtaken by

Heading into to burnout, most areas of life were getting smaller. The emotional tank was emptying, effectiveness declining and connections were diminishing as I increasingly withdrew. But I was growing where I didn’t want to grow. I constantly felt hungry even after eating. Now I understand it was to do with emotional depletion. My body craved food because it made

Losing self-control I didn’t know that I was approaching burnout but I felt the muscle of self-control losing strength. It felt like all the fence posts and personal boundaries I had built in as a Jesus’ follower for 43 years became wobbly. Constantly I felt hungry, so I began to consume more food and gained weight. I often had a