The numbers game Over a coffee, one of my Pastor friends was lamenting the recent low attendances in his church. “It must be the school holidays,” he said, “people go away.” He was obviously a little discouraged. It’s funny how the numbers affect us. We are up when they are up, and down when they are down. Get a group

Remove the shame I was embarrassed to admit that I was moderately depressed. It was much easier to admit to high stress and low anxiety in my burnout. It felt ok to acknowledge the high stress, as it came with a false badge of honour awarded by a busy life. My embarrassment over depression came from a wrong understanding of

How are your key relationships? Along with living a life of purpose where gifts and goals align, a key to thriving* is having great relationships. Relationships that experience a healthy level of connectedness provide an atmosphere that enables us to thrive. We flourish with the right conditions. Similar to an orchid plant in an orchid house, where moisture and temperature

As we came to the six-week mark of James’ passing, it seemed that life is returning to normal. I am grateful that people still ask how are you doing? While I recognise that sometimes I am not doing well, I’m grateful to be able to say, that most of the time I am doing ok. I often answer, “The time

How do you find comfort? Firstly, be with those closest to you. When we received news that we had lost our grandson, we knew we had to be with his parents, our son and his wife. I called our daughter’s husband and asked them to come and look after the grandchildren we had staying. Let some people know who can

Do you let others see when it’s tough? In May of 2019, we had a family tragedy. Our grandson James was stillborn. No cause is known, his heart just stopped beating. It was such a shock. No words. Very early on, as we started to contact people and let them know, I was faced with a choice. What would be

Do you let others see the real you? Do they know how you are really doing? One of the constant comments I get after I talk about my journey of burnout is “thank you for your transparency.” Transparency is helpful because others can get help from what you have been through. Being real and authentic is powerful. Was I always

Heading into to burnout, most areas of life were getting smaller. The emotional tank was emptying, effectiveness declining and connections were diminishing as I increasingly withdrew. But I was growing where I didn’t want to grow. I constantly felt hungry even after eating. Now I understand it was to do with emotional depletion. My body craved food because it made

Losing self-control I didn’t know that I was approaching burnout but I felt the muscle of self-control losing strength. It felt like all the fence posts and personal boundaries I had built in as a Jesus’ follower for 43 years became wobbly. Constantly I felt hungry, so I began to consume more food and gained weight. I often had a