Six Tips for Helping Clients Suffering Abuse

Every experienced mentor, coach and supervisor has had to handle clients who have been dealing with abuse. It is a painful moment to recognise that the client in our care is being mistreated, whether it is something seemingly small, like a condescending and controlling boss at work, to something dangerous and severe, such as a violent partner. It is in these moments that we have to ask ourselves, what is our responsibility? 

Recognise.

The first step is recognising that abuse is taking place. Many victims of abuse have a complicated relationship with their abuser, and can convince themselves that abusive behaviour is not harming them, or that they deserve the harm. Control, coercion or an imbalance of power can make it difficult to see the truth.

As practitioners, it is our job to help our clients recognise their abuse, but this must be done with great care. Simply pointing out abuse and telling the client they need to take action may just feel like added pressure or judgment. Instead, we can go deeper and examine what is preventing them from hearing the truth. 

Reach out.

Being stuck in an abusive environment can feel hopeless, but there are always good people in the world who can help. If no one in a person’s life seems safe, there are organisations that will help.

As practitioners, we should know which local organisations could be helpful. Know the helplines for abuse. We can also encourage our clients to take the first small step of speaking to someone safe in their life; a pastor, a teacher, a friend, etc… 

Seek a Professional.

Abuse has a profound and lasting impact on people. Without a professional to help a person see what they are not seeing, a victim of abuse is in danger of continuing the cycle of damaging others or themselves. A professional can help them understand their value, take accountability for changing their situation and create boundaries.

As practitioners, we should form a list of recommendations if we are not professionally qualified to work with our clients through their trauma. Certain abuse could be handled in our sessions, but we need to know our limits. Specific trauma requires specific expertise, and attempting to manage a trauma you aren’t qualified to handle is dangerous to your client. 

Create a Safety Plan.

A professional can help the client form a safety plan. If a person is suffering domestic violence, this is a crucial step, but it is also helpful for less dangerous forms of abuse, such as workplace bullying; how will they respond next time they feel abused? To whom do they need to report it? Of course, in situations of physical violence, it is essential to have an exit strategy, such as a go bag, necessary documents and a safe place to stay. 

As a practitioner, we can help create or reinforce their safety plan. For more extreme causes of abuse, a client may not feel safe sharing their plan, which needs to be respected.

Call emergency services.

If there is a threat of danger, do not hesitate to call 911, 000 … whatever your local emergency number is. 

As a practitioner, if you get a phone call from a client in an emergency, encourage them to call for help, but you may have to contact emergency services if they won’t. If a person is in physical danger, we are legally and ethically required to report the emergency. 

Aftermath Care.

Most people who have experienced abuse struggle in the aftermath, even if they are now out of immediate harm. They will need a plan to understand the impact, rebuild their strength and create new boundaries and habits to protect themselves in the future. 

As a practitioner, we can offer a safe place to process and reflect. We can encourage them to follow the advice of professional counsellors. We can support them with prayer and love. 

This is a great time to revisit your contract with your client and review your stated agreements regarding confidentiality and when it is ethically and legally required to report the abuse. It is never easy to report abuse, but it is one of the most crucial moments in the work of a person providing care. 

Reflection Questions:

• What conversations do I need to have if someone I know is experiencing abuse? 
• How have you tended to address abuse in the past? Do you have a strong conversation with them? Do you tend to ignore it?
• When is it time to take action? 
• Reflect on the limits of your confidentiality when someone is harmed.
• In my client’s cases, are there any signs of immediate risk?