Ending a Mentoring/Supervising Relationship Well (Part I) 

It’s a sad truth that mentoring/supervising relationships come to an end.

Whatever the reason, closing that time with your mentee/supervisee in a meaningful and ethical way is always important; for the client and for yourself. With some reflection and some intention, it  can be a significant time full of gratitude and new insights. 

Why is the relationship ending?

There are many reasons your time might be coming to an end: 

• Financial—change in circumstances.
• The client needs a greater degree of independence. You are connected to people in their context. 
• They have outgrown the sessions. Your client feels they are no longer receiving the help they desire. This could simply be their perception, or it could be that they are ready to move on. 
• You are not finding them responsive. The client is refusing to engage in a real way, preventing growth or transformation.
• They are hiding something. The client is not being transparent, preventing growth or transformation. 
• They want a different perspective. The client feels it would benefit them to seek a new perspective, either more akin to their beliefs or in order to push their thinking. 

It’s important to note that either you or the client has the right to terminate the sessions. It takes two to make a mentoring/supervising relationship work. The client should always feel comfortable to end your time together. Also, while you as the mentor or supervisor should be committed to making your time together effective and your relationship healthy and lasting, if you feel that you are not the correct fit for your client or their situation, you can also end the professional relationship. 

The Mentor’s Responsibility

It is the mentor’s job, however, to make sure the relationship ends well. Regardless of the situation that brought you both to this closure, you should do your best to ensure your client and yourself are set up for the next step in your journey, both professionally and personally. This is a great time to reflect on the growth the client has made, and to be grateful for the opportunity you’ve had and the time you walked together. 

While the closure of a relationship can often make a mentor or supervisor feel disappointed or downhearted, it does not make them a failure. There is always something to learn from ending a relationship, often something that can shape them into an even more effective mentor/supervisor. A mentor or supervisor needs to be committed to professional development, and sometimes that means we need to allow a person to move on to a new mentor/supervisor who is a better fit for the next stage in their life. People will often have many mentorships and supervisors over the course of their professional career. 

It is always sobering to recognise the end of a season, but it also opens the door for new possibilities. The foundation of this relationship is based in discipleship, which we can see follows the same pattern of walking closely together for a season. Transitions in life are often difficult but natural, and even a blessing. 

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ (‭https://bible.com/bible/116/ecc.3.2.NLT)‬‬ reminds us, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.” (‭https://bible.com/bible/116/ecc.3.2.NLT)

Reflection Questions: 

• What has led to the end of the professional relationship? 
• What have I learned from our time together? 
• Where have I seen growth in the client?
• What can I look forward to in this new season of life? 

Do you still have concerns or questions about how to handle the end of a professional relationship? Are you worried about what comes next? Join us next week as we discuss the topic further.