Unpacking Performance Markers: Where Does My Drive Come From? 

As a practitioner, I’ve spent extensive time working with leaders across churches, communities, and organisations; from school principals and CEOs to lead pastors of large churches. I have found that they often share a deep drive for achievement. 

Leaders dream big, work hard, and are always considering what comes next for themselves and their community. They are constantly creating performance markers in their mind; things to work towards and which mark their progress. A strong drive is a quality that is incredibly beneficial to leaders. At the same time, it is important to occasionally pause our client in the middle of their endless planning and dreaming and ask them, “Where does this drive to accomplish come from?”

I remember sitting in a green room with the lead pastor of a church of 10,000 members. Most leaders would be very satisfied with this number, yet he was already asking how to keep it growing. He wanted to double the church to 20,000. There was something about this desire that I recognised in myself. My church was significant with a thriving community, we had bought property and were quickly growing and planting churches. Still, I always wanted to accomplish more and kept striving toward something bigger. At one point, I had to ask myself, “Is this stemming from a need in my community and the world, or is it just a need in me?” 

A healthy drive can help a leader achieve their goals, but the need to always be accomplishing can be almost addictive and unsustainable. It can stem from a sense of self-criticism, a feeling of not being enough, and a need to prove one’s worth. Moreover, external pressure can also drive you: your community or peers may create a sense of what they expect from you. A sense of competition or comparison can lead to an unhealthy drive. What a person in these situations needs to ask themselves is, “What is God asking of me? Is my drive to achieve for the good of God and my community or is it just to achieve for myself? What is enough?”

There are times in life when we should pause and feel contentment. One of my mentors recently told me, “I’m happy where I am. I don’t need to do anything or be anything else.” He had much to be proud of. Although he had influenced leaders globally and engaged with the lives of others, he was also content with his achievements. It can be a difficult balance; our dream and drive, and finding contentment.

We can be at peace with where we are in life. We can move more slowly through the world and appreciate the life God has given us, whilst dreaming and working towards our goals. The Bible tells us that the Kingdom of God is both here right now, and also not here yet, in the same way that we are children of God and loved for exactly who we are, while still being transformed. The world is full of the wrestling between the now and the not yet. Instead of fixating on our own performance markers, we can ask ourselves, “What are God’s performance markers for me?” 

Reflection: 

• What are my performance markers? 

• What drives me? 

• What do I want from myself? What does my community want from me? What does God want from me? How do I tell the difference?