Walking with Wisdom: Helping Others Navigate Abuse

Today, we are diving into a serious and challenging subject—addressing some potentially triggering material: What should you do in the face of abuse? If this subject matter is close to home and uncomfortable to read, feel free to skip this blog and join us next week. I also encourage anyone who is feeling triggered to reach out to loved ones and professionals for support. 

Abuse is a subject that most feel uncomfortable about, either because they have their own experiences with abuse and it is painful and triggering, or because a person is unsure how to help. Because of this, abuse can often go unnoticed or ignored, but it is a very real part of our society and can create deep and lasting trauma. Abuse can take place even in healthy and supportive communities. 

Abuse is Not Always Straightforward

There are many different kinds and degrees of abuse. It can be as straightforward as physical violence, or more subtle, such as a “friend” spreading cruel rumours or a coworker icing out a fellow employee. Abuse can be physical, emotional, relational and even spiritual. Most often, abuse is seen in familiar places; work, home, school, etc, and usually comes from a known person, but there are also random attacks and abuse from strangers. All forms of abuse can have a lasting impact. 

Studies State

Recent studies have shown that more people are reporting abuse now than in the past. A survey of schools, found that “54% of principals reported being subjected to threats of violence (up from 49% in 2022), 48% reported being subjected to physical violence (up from 44% in 2022) and bullying levels also rose to 38% (up from 34 % in 2022)” (Australian Institute of Health and Safety 2005).

Workplaces are also seeing more instances of abuse, usually more emotional and psychological examples. Unfortunately, bullying does not happen just with children in the school yard, but can continue into our adult life. If you have questions about workplace abuse, the following link is a great resource:

It should be noted that these studies indicated that more abuse is being reported, not necessarily that more abuse is taking place. Culturally, it is more acceptable to report uncomfortable interactions than it has been in the past. There is also more encouragement to express our feelings. Abusers often act out their own insecurities or trauma. These hostile actions can be an indication of a person in need of help and empathy. There is never a good excuse for hurting another person. However, approaching the conflict with empathy can lead to more honest discussions and more profound change.  We should remember to act with respect and love for one another, and to try to communicate with empathy and seek understanding, rather than just wanting to be right.

All of Us are Loved

We are all people of value. We are all loved by God.

So, we should never need to suffer abuse, even if we have grown used to this sort of treatment or don’t feel worthy of a safe environment. If you, or someone you know, is being harmed, it needs to be addressed immediately. Do not ignore it or put up with it. Some places and people can provide help. There are likely people around you who can offer support; your partner, parents or friends could be a place to start, or if that feels too vulnerable, you can turn to a more objective perspective, such as a counsellor, your pastor or a mentor. There are also organisations specifically created to help people dealing with abuse. If you are feeling you are in harm’s way, don’t hesitate to call emergency services. The important thing to remember is that there is always someone to reach out to when you need help. 

Reflection

• How am I doing with processing abuse in others and myself?
• What are my guidelines for referring people who are abused to professional help?
• Who can I talk to about this?