Ritual and Relationship: Practising Spiritual Disciplines

For dedicated spiritual leaders, I have found that one of the most challenging areas of life to make time for is, ironically, spirituality. Despite spending much of our time and energy upholding services to our community and helping others on their journey towards spiritual transformation, our own relationship with God can often flounder. 

Just as we need to find time with our friends and families, and make time for our self-care, we also need to make time for God—not just a prayer before dinner or a weekly sermon, but intentional time to deepen our relationship. This time is essential for our relationship with God and also with ourselves. We need Christ’s perspective to understand our identity with clarity and love. 

I enjoy exploring new perspectives, such as David Attenborough’s, “Life on Earth.” This series observes creatures in their natural habitat. Since we cannot talk with animals, we must observe their behaviours to understand them. So, if others were observing you in a programme, what would they learn? How we spend our time is reflective of our highest values so, ask yourself, “How is my relationship with God reflected in my behaviours? In my calendar? In my heart?” 

This is not just about creating a ritual—though structured time and activities can be very helpful in cultivating spiritual discipline. I like to spend some time first thing every morning in my favourite chair talking with God without distractions. I read scripture and pray, and it is a wonderful way to start the day. While this is a ritual for me, at the core, this is my way of making intentional time for God and our relationship. It is about spending time with Him, not necessarily about the ritual itself. 

Rituals may feel monotonous or like a chore, which is not how our time with God is designed to be. There is no heart in simply checking ‘time with God’ off your to-do list. If you find that your relationship is running on obligation, it is time to check in with yourself;  pause and reflect. If you can’t sort it on your own, it’s time to process it with someone else. Do you find yourself praying because you feel like you have to or because you want to? What does your answer say about your relationship with God? Something has happened or is happening to make it this way. A relationship with God is ever-changing; there will be moments of silence, uncertainty and doubt, but also moments of inspiration, connection and joy. 

Alongside a healthy relationship with Christ, a ritual can bring a beautiful resonance. Did you know if you put two grand pianos in a room and tune them together, you can play middle C on one and the middle C string on the other with vibrate? This is like ritual and relationship. Together they make your spirituality deeper and more beautiful. We also need to rely on those in our spiritual community; our time alone with God is essential, but we also need to take what we gain from these times and share it with the people around us. Too much isolation can be dangerous; we can easily distort our own reality and misinterpret what God is telling us. Learning others perspectives helps guard against this distortion and helps us to gain deeper insight into ourself and God. 

As Christian leaders, whether we are a mentor, supervisor, or coach, our job is to help others prioritise their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Our spirituality is just as vital as our physical and emotional health, and an important measure in our lifestyle. Who we are as leaders impacts others, and what we give permission to gives permission to others. People replicate what we do. 

Reflection:

• Review the practice of your spiritual discipline: 
• What do you see?
• What do others observe?
• Where do your values and disciplines not match up?
• What changes do you want to make?
• Who can you explore this with?

What’s next:

Take our Healthy Christian Leadership Assessment here: https://vervelead.com/tools/#hcla