Solving Problems at the Core

The old adage, “Things are not always as they seem,” is one that, despite its simplicity, holds a profound truth, especially for mentors and supervisors. Our clients are complicated humans, full of contradictions, blind spots and self-deceit. When they come to us with a problem, there is almost always more to the issue than meets the eye. 

Recently, I was talking to a pastor affected by problems involving his work-life balance. He was working himself toward burnout by not allowing himself to rest. The problem and its solution seemed simple enough; he was working long hours, he should rest. Of course, it was more complicated. The client knew he was working too much, but was still continuing to do so  because of a long-ingrained habit of over-working and saying yes. The solution was to find ways to change old habits. This began an exploration of how the habit began; why did the client feel he had to overwork? Why couldn’t he say no when he was burnt out? Did he feel his work ethiwas what gave him value? Suddenly, we were looking at core issues about self-worth and belief about what makes a person a failure. 

Here are a few techniques that I find useful when understanding the problem’s core. 

Go Deeper

This can seem obvious, but can be difficult, especially with clients who are withholding or avoidant. Nearly every problem that is deeply affecting a person has deeper roots to explore, the symptoms are rarely the cause. It’s like having a headache. The headache is the surface issue, but we need to understand why it’s there in the first place (perhaps caused by dehydration or stress) in order to treat it and prevent reoccurrence. 

Similarly, our problems may seem simple on the surface, but to fix the problem, we need to look deeper. What caused this problem? Is it recurring? How is your client reacting and why? I like to consider these three things whenever facing a dilemma with a client: 

Trust – has trust been broken in key relationships? How could this impact their current situation? 

Trauma – what past trauma might be informing the present? 

Abuse – have they faced abuse? How has this impacted their life? 

Everything is connected 

All areas of our lives constantly impact each other. Emotional fatigue might prevent us from visiting the gym, thereby impacting our physical health. Catching a virus that makes us feel terrible may affect the way we treat those closest to us. An unusually heavy workload might distract us from our prayer time, consequently impacting our spiritual health. 

During the Covid pandemic, we all faced our fair share of issues: isolation, fear, sickness, financial anxiety… just to name a few, but I found that one of the most common problems I discussed with my clients during this time was their spirituality. With most churches either taking a hiatus or switching to online forums, many people felt lost without their spiritual community and the physical and emotional space that a church provides to reflect on God. The stress they were feeling in their lives made it difficult to find spirituality at home. They could feel the impact on their soul, as well as their bodies and hearts. 

If the core cause of a problem doesn’t reveal itself easily, I like to explore other areas. A client is acting volatile at work with no clear reason… What is going on in their homelife? How are their finances? How about their health? What about their relationship with God? Is there guilt or anger that is being redirected towards their coworkers? 

Reflection Questions: 

• What is the surface problem your client is facing? 
• Is this a recurring problem? 
• What connections can you make to the client’s past? 
• What connections can you make to other areas in their life? 
• Who can help you explore these areas when you can see the deeper issues? 
• What’s next: reflect on your skills to help your clients. Take the Christian Mentor Competency assessment. https://vervelead.com/tools/#mentorq